Most Embarrassing Moment

It’s hard to pick an embarrassing moment since I’ve had so many incredible ones.

One that sticks out in my mind was when a girlfriend and I were right in the middle of getting it on in one of the empty rooms her uncle had in one of the rental units he owned. Her grandfather was going to do some work in the unit and he was inside before we could even get dressed and hide.

It was weird standing there wearing nothing but a condom getting lectured by an elderly hillbilly about how all I was after was what I could get out of her. What was worse, it wasn’t even my idea since she dragged me into that apartment when I wanted to go to the library to get some work done.

There was also the sense of embarrassment when I received a letter in the mail that I was only one credit shy of graduating from school; I had to retake an English class, ironically. I attended summer school and aced every test and assignment and often times there was this feeling that I was the only one who was having conversations with the teacher during class discussion.

After I passed that class I was told “Congratulations, you’re now a High School Graduate! Please pay us the $90 fee to get your diploma.” Because money was so tight I simply didn’t have the $90. I went from the age of 19 to 21 having graduated high school but I didn’t have the piece of paper to prove it.

That embarrassment was revisited when I applied to college in Upstate New York. I had the $90 to get from that school in Vermont, but because my transcript was in such horrible shape I needed to take some remedial classes. I was actually retaking classes at the age of 21 with High School students from ages 14 to 18.

Somewhere out there in the world there are actually TWO High School Diploma’s with my name on them… one in my box of mementos in my basement and the other in a filing cabinet in central Vermont.

Years later in Topeka, Kansas I was in bed with this incredibly beautiful woman who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Unfortunately her husband had other ideas.

Finally, one of the most embarrassing moments of my life came when I was having a beer with my father-in-law and asked me “Is cunnilingus something you do to her, or is it something she does to you.”


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